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Boppin' Along

Forum for earth sensitives, world events, disasters, dreams, prophecies, visions, predictions.. everything and anything welcome here!


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    SHTF WEEK: Friday's SUPERMOON

    SonicSal
    SonicSal


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    Post  SonicSal Wed 02 Mar 2011, 9:25 pm

    We'll get a brief respite after this Friday's New Moon geocosmic stress window, then all hell will break loose in the SUPERMOON week of the 19th.
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Ripped to pieces, cold, sad, stuff off charts for hours!

    Post  John Kettler Fri 04 Mar 2011, 12:29 am

    Wanted to sleep in, but got up, exercised, walked at length outside, showered and did a bunch of stuff here, to include making dinner, but by 4 p.m. CST or so, I was a wreck, ate some dark chocolate and put on the chill out music before lying down for what turned out to be hours of apparent agonizing planetary convulsions, which are far from over as of 6:21 p.m. Dinner was a one dish meal of curried vegetables, brown rice and salmon and was a big hit, but I'm still getting clobbered and am venting hard to prove it. Spock's got me on both sides, and my neck doesn't like it a bit. Head's in a hoseclamp and is also smashed in on the right side.

    Sally Bee,

    Appreciate the support and am sorry you're in pain! One half of the "doesn't get it and doesn't want to" unit is gone for weeks, and I'm glad she's left, for I need time to recuperate from her.

    SonicSal,

    (Screams and flees in terror, looking for an unfindable hole to crawl into.) Sigh! Am in shreds from all that's going on.

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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Woke abruptly 5:14 a.m. CST; not sure why; haven't checked the quake lists n/t

    Post  John Kettler Fri 04 Mar 2011, 5:09 pm

    n/t
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Pounded for hours, lull, then resumed in earnest ~7:45 p.m. CST

    Post  John Kettler Sat 05 Mar 2011, 1:50 am

    It was agonizing in the hours before dinner, painful during, a dull roar while at Half Price Books, and is now back with a vengeance. Right side of head's smashed in, and the hoseclamp from yesterday is there, too. Both ears are blocked, and right aches. Eyes and sockets feel slugged, and GIs are mashing bladder. Teeth and jaws ache. Am therefore expecting both a quake and an eruption. Feel drained and sad, despite a good meal. Dark chocolate has been broken out and is in use.

    John
    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Sat 05 Mar 2011, 1:56 am

    I got over my New Moon geopathics and getting ready for the dreaded SUPERMOON geopathics comin up in a few weeks.
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Of Super New Moons and Super Full Moons

    Post  John Kettler Sat 05 Mar 2011, 7:42 pm

    SonicSal,

    We get a Super New Moon today (March 5), and this is actually worse than a Super Full Moon from a quake perspective. The Super Full Moon is March 19. Details here. http://theextinctionprotocol.wordpress.com/

    Hang in!

    John


    Last edited by John Kettler on Sat 05 Mar 2011, 8:37 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typos)
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty 6.5 (5 MT equivalent) in South Sandwich Islands woke me up at 8:32 a.m. CST

    Post  John Kettler Sun 06 Mar 2011, 9:15 pm

    Details here. http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usb0001q4l.php Smaller 6.2 hit Tarapaca, Chile at nearly 6:32 a.m, but I slept through that one. http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usb0001q2y.php Chilloed, feel crummy and sad, so more event soon.

    John
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Update: Am expecting a 7 or greater and soon, likely also an eruption

    Post  John Kettler Sun 06 Mar 2011, 11:38 pm

    Last post should read "chilled" not "chilloed," but is really moot, seeing as how 3:30 p.m. CST saw the onset off full blown seismic deep freeze, almost two hours' worth while fully dressed and under heavy covers. Am still chilled and am now venting. Upper back's lit up and fiery, with aching neck and substantial imploding headache. Eyes and sockets feel slugged. Ears are blocked and itch fiercely. It's 5:37 p.m. CST.

    John
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Not quite a 7! 6.6 in Solomons KOed ~ 12p.m. -1:30 pm. CST

    Post  John Kettler Mon 07 Mar 2011, 10:24 pm

    Details here on quake. Walked to store for survival shop after finally rising from the dead, but as of ~ 4 local, the right side of my head is smashed in, feet feel beaten and crushed, sciatics are flaring, upper back's lit up, and both arms are nervy. Neck's stiff and sore, despite hot shower after hike. It's 4:23 pm. CST.

    John
    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Tue 08 Mar 2011, 12:05 am

    SuperMoon DOOM week is just a week away now. Looks like it will go down as pretty memorable. What a Face

    We obviously know that there are scientific laws that say the moon affects the Earth (i.e. tides). There are also less proven theories that propose that the moon affects the Earth in other ways (i.e. abnormal behavior during a full moon). Can the Super (full) Moon contribute to extreme weather and other natural phenomenon? AccuWeather Facebook fanpage member Daniel Vogler adds, "The last extreme super moon occurred was on January 10th, 2005, right around the time of the 9.0 Indonesia earthquake. That extreme super moon was a new moon. So be forewarned. Something BIG could happen on or around this date. (+/- 3 Days is my guess) So what can we expect this time? Earthquakes? Volcanic eruptions? I guess we can only wait and see.
    Extreme Super (Full) Moon to Cause CHAOS?

    _
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Strong eruption began ~6:10 p.m. CST (anyone know where?) and continues; expect strong quake soon!

    Post  John Kettler Wed 09 Mar 2011, 12:25 am

    Felt icky all day, but attributed it chiefly to a storm front yet to rain blanketing our area, but multiple GI distress, followed by yet another crushing right side headache, told another tale, forcing me to take a pain med and seriously consider an antinauseal too. When this one blew, I almost puked, so violent was the way it expressed in my body. Blast followed blast, and there's much more to come. I can feel another round building up, but now the headache, supplemented by one at the temples is the focus of my pain. Neck, shoulders, upper back, sciatics and feet are all lit up, and both arms feel nervy clear to my fingertips. It's 6:23 p.m. CST, and I'm taking an epic pounding and am venting to prove it.

    John
    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Wed 09 Mar 2011, 3:11 am

    I think the westcoast might be next.


    Magnitude 7.2 - OFF THE EAST COAST OF HONSHU, JAPAN

    Earthquake Details

    * This event has been reviewed by a seismologist.

    Magnitude 7.2 (Preliminary magnitude — update expected within 15 minutes)
    Date-Time

    * Wednesday, March 09, 2011 at 02:45:17 UTC
    * Wednesday, March 09, 2011 at 12:45:17 PM at epicenter

    Location 38.300°N, 143.300°E
    Depth 10 km (6.2 miles) set by location program
    Region OFF THE EAST COAST OF HONSHU, JAPAN
    Distances

    * 211 km (131 miles) E (88°) from Sendai, Honshu, Japan
    * 245 km (152 miles) SE (129°) from Morioka, Honshu, Japan
    * 252 km (156 miles) NE (56°) from Iwaki, Honshu, Japan
    * 430 km (267 miles) NE (46°) from TOKYO, Japan

    Location Uncertainty Error estimate not available
    Parameters NST= 6, Nph=0, Dmin=0 km, Rmss=0 sec, Gp=205°,
    M-type="moment" magnitude from initial P wave (tsuboi method) (Mi/Mwp), Version=B
    Source

    * NOAA Pacific Tsunami Warning Center

    Event ID pt11068000
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Japan goes tilt! Loads of quakes off east coast of Honshu, including a 7.2!

    Post  John Kettler Wed 09 Mar 2011, 5:30 pm

    No wonder I felt so awful yesterday! http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/quakes_all.php Things are now starting to move, and it's showing up internally, in communication, and in my business. Also, internal guidance seems to be finally reflecting in outer reality. It's 11:26 a.m. CST. The 7.2 hit 8:45 pm. local last night. Seismic symptoms are down, but I've got a bunch of volcanic stuff going on, especially in the ears.

    John
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty We also had a tornado and high winds yesterday in Texas. Tornadoes don't normally happen before Spring!

    Post  John Kettler Wed 09 Mar 2011, 8:28 pm

    Yes, definitely got the upheaval trifecta yesterday! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6gBJ20CQQk&feature=youtube_gdata Luckily, it didn't do much damage and hurt no one.

    John
    OregonGuy
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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Feel like crap

    Post  OregonGuy Wed 09 Mar 2011, 11:28 pm

    Even after the 7.2 in Japan. Feel absolutely drained of energy, sun stuff? Guessing something local or yet another biggie far off someplace. Lousy energy for past several days.
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty How about an X-class solar flare?

    Post  John Kettler Thu 10 Mar 2011, 2:14 am

    Oregon Guy,

    That'll knock the stuffing out of anyone with solar sensitivity! http://www.n3kl.org/ An M-class used to disable me.

    John
    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Thu 10 Mar 2011, 10:06 am

    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Article-1364124-0D86DC81000005DC-602_468x286
    Earth will be at its closest point - some 221,567 miles away - to the moon in 19 years on March 19. Some fear the 'lunar perigee' will affect our climate pattern


    Could 'supermoon' next week disrupt Earth's weather?

    Moon comes at its closest approach for 19 years


    By David Derbyshire
    Last updated at 3:25 PM on 9th March 2011


    It doesn't take much to get the Internet's lunar-tics out in force.

    The web was yesterday awash with apocalyptic warnings that the movement of the moon will trigger tidal waves, volcanic eruptions and even earthquakes next week.

    The conspiracy theorists claim that on March 19, the moon will be closer to Earth than at any time since 1992 - just 221,567 miles away - and that its gravitational pull will bring chaos to Earth.

    However, astronomers have dismissed the claims as pure nonsense.

    The bizarre rumours centre on a phenomenon called the 'lunar perigee'.

    The moon's orbit around Earth is not a circle, but an eclipse. At its closest approach - the perigee - the moon appears brighter and larger in the sky. When it is furthest away - the apogee - it is smaller and dimmer.

    A lunar perigee occurs once a month. However, next week's perigee coincides with a full moon - a combination of events that happen just once every two or three years.

    Although it makes a good photo opportunity for astronomers, scientists say it has no impact on Earth.

    Dr David Harland, space historian and author, said: 'It's possible that the moon may be a kilometre or two closer to Earth than normal at a perigee, but it's an utterly insignificant event. '

    But the Internet is awash with conspiracy-minded amateur scientists warning that such a 'supermoon' could disrupt Earth's climate patterns and may even cause earthquakes and volcanic activity.

    Previous supermoons took place in 1955, 1974, 1992 and 2005 - all years that had extreme weather events, the conspiracy theorists say.

    The tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people in Indonesia happened two weeks before the January 2005 supermoon. And on Christmas Day 1974, Cyclone Tracy laid waste to Darwin, Australia.

    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Article-1364124-034AFDF60000044D-454_468x309
    Coincidence? Banda Aceh, Indonesia, was devastated by the December 2004 tsunami which took place two weeks before a supermoon

    But Pete Wheeler of the International Centre for Radio Astronomy greeted warnings of an impending apocalypse with scepticism.

    'There will be no earthquakes or volcanoes erupting, unless they are to happen anyway,' he told news.com.au.

    'Earth will experience just a lower than usual low tide and a higher than usual high tide around the time of the event, but nothing to get excited about.'

    Australian astronomer David Reneke agreed, pointing out that conspiracy theorists will always be able to find a natural disaster to link to a certain time and blame it on a supermoon.

    'If you try hard enough you can chronologically associate almost any natural disaster or event to anything in the night sky - comet, planet, sun,' he said.

    'Remember in the past, planetary alignments were going to pull the sun apart. It didn't happen. Astrologers draw a very long bow most times.

    'Normal king tides are about all I would expect out of this supermoon prediction.'

    During a full moon, the sun and the moon are pulling on Earth from opposite sides - making the chances of any dramatic tidal events unlikely.

    On average the moon is 235,000 miles away. At its furthest it is 248,000 miles away.
    During a lunar perigee and full moon, the lunar surface can appear up to 14 per cent bigger and 30 per cent brighter than other full moons.



    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Thu 10 Mar 2011, 7:42 pm

    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 9780312863555

    Solar flare, super moon, climate change psychology

    John Guerrerio

    Energy Examiner
    March 10th, 2011

    SUN AND MOON ADD TO EARTH'S WOES

    As if the problems being caused on planet Earth by ourselves are not enough to contend with, the sun and moon are seemingly conspiring against us to push our social environments to extremes. From a psychological perspective, some might make the case that humanity's heightened state of agitation is simply a byproduct of increasing natural turbulence. Well, two such events are set to wash over the Earth in the very near future, one over the weekend and the other on 3.19.2011. The first is a gift from the sun; a huge solar flare erupted yesterday pointed directly at Earth. Aurora could be visible from as far south as New York City this weekend. The second gift is courtesy of the moon; a super-sized moon [caused by the moon passing as close to the Earth as it can, the first in 18 years] will be visible on March 19. In the past, 'super moons' have coincided with natural disasters such as earthquakes and hurricanes. Although scientists have not definitively linked the correlation, years when 'super moons' have appeared have coincided with extreme weather and other natural disaster events. With the global economy in such a precarious position as it is, and unrest as prevalent as it is today, one has to wonder if the Earth and its inhabitants can handle a double-whammy from the sun and moon.



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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty X-class flare, Unsettled geomag field, lots of Honshu aftershocks and a 6.5 (5 MT equivalent) in the Bali Sea 11:08 a.m. CST

    Post  John Kettler Thu 10 Mar 2011, 7:49 pm

    Was miserable last night, and was mauled from before I even got up. Collapsed from ~11:30-1 a.m. and still feel thrashed. Have a host of seismic symptoms: imploding skull, Spock pinches, throbbing necks, nervy extremities, beaten/broken feet. Volcanics include slugged eyes and sockets and cycling internal pressure, bloat and gas. It's 1:46 p.m. CST. Venting hard and deeply.

    John

    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:48 am

    Like I said.....ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE:

    Magnitude 8.9 earthquake rocks Japan

    The quake triggers a tsunami that threatens much of the Pacific. In Tokyo, all trains are halted and black plumes of smoke rise over the skyline. Initial reports say dozens have died; scores are reported missing.

    By Barbara Demick, David Pierson and Kenji Hall, Los Angeles Times

    3:01 AM PST, March 11, 2011

    Reporting from Beijing and Tokyo

    The worst earthquake in generations struck off the northeast coast of Japan on Friday, setting off a devastating tsunami that swallowed swaths of coastal territory and fanned out across the Pacific Ocean, threatening everything in its path.

    The 8.9-magnitude earthquake -- the world's fifth-largest since 1900 and the biggest in Japan in 140 years -- struck at 2:46 p.m. local time, shaking buildings violently in Tokyo for several minutes and sending millions fleeing for higher ground.

    Initial reports say dozens have died, though that number is expected to rise dramatically as more aftershocks and waves batter the region. Japanese media is reporting scores of people missing, likely buried under rubble or swept away by waves as high as 33 feet.

    Nearby islands are bracing for the tsunami and warnings have been issued for 53 countries including ones as far away as Colombia and Peru.

    Japanese television showed aerial footage of an ominous 13-foot muddy wave washing across land along the northeastern coast near the epicenter, which appears to have sustained the worst damage.

    Sendai, a city of 1 million in Miyagi prefecture 180 miles northeast of Tokyo, was struck by a wave 20 feet high, then another 33 feet high. A hotel collapsed and large ships in port were seen lying on their sides. The city's airport was flooded, and people could be seen on the roof of the terminal.

    In other locations, live TV coverage showed massive damage from the waves with dozens of boats and even buildings being carried along by waters. Cars could be seen futilely trying to speed away from the rolling wall of debris.

    A large ship swept away by the tsunami rammed into a breakwater in Kesennuma city in Miyagi prefecture. Waves could be seen splashing into city streets and over bridges.

    Further south in Chiba prefecture, firefighters battled an out-of-control oil refinery blaze that spewed fireballs into the sky.

    Japanese Prime Minister Naoto Kan in a press conference called for people to remain calm and reported that the nation's nuclear power plants showed no signs of damage.

    "The government will make its utmost efforts to secure people's safety and limit any damages to the minimum," Kan said.

    All trains in Tokyo were stopped, and black plumes of smoke rose over the skyline. Tokyo Disneyland's parking lot was reportedly flooded and the tip of the Tokyo Tower was bent. Office workers rushed out of their buildings. Subways were halted, trapping commuters underground. In the nation with the world's third-largest economy, all airports were closed.

    "The train was rocking sharply back and forth," said Anthony Weiss, a 29-year-old from Florida studying Japanese in Tokyo who was on a train when the quake hit. "People covered their heads with their bags as dust and small debris fell. Something sprung a leak, as there was a lot of water on the platform."

    Many riders evacuated the train and headed for the archways, but not Weiss. "I stayed on because I was concerned about the roof and hanging lights and ventilation systems," he said. "Lights went on and off in the train. It felt a lot like the earthquake attraction at Universal, to be honest, but it wasn't stopping.

    "It was pretty scary," Weiss said in an e-mail to a friend. "It felt pretty strong. People were scrambling for the doorways. The aftershocks are continuing even now."

    People at Tokyo's Narita International Airport were told to evacuate buildings and head for the tarmac.

    "It felt like a jet had come too close to the window and everything started shaking and rocking, and there was a huge rumbling noise," said David Pierson, a 32-year-old U.S. Army helicopter pilot who was waiting for a flight to Newark. "All the signs started swaying and fixtures started popping out. When I saw the panic on people's faces, I made a move for the exit."

    The epicenter of the quake was 81 miles off the coast of Sendai, and it struck at a depth of 15 miles. The combination of its shallow depth and proximity to the coast made the temblor a "perfect storm for the tsunami generation" said Susan Hough of the U.S. Geological Survey in Pasadena.

    Japan has a lengthy history of large earthquakes, and its buildings are well-girded to withstand damage. Observers said this could help minimize casualties.
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Mass casualty/fatality 8.9 near E coast of Honshu last night 11:46 p.m. CST Aftershock woke me this morning

    Post  John Kettler Fri 11 Mar 2011, 6:16 pm

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usc0001yib.php hit 9:13 a.m. CST, That neck of the woods has gone hog wild seismically since, with many megatons of equivalent nuclear release (loads of 5s at 32 KT per) http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/quakes_all.php Adding to my joy is a raging geomagnetic storm. http://n3kl.org/ It's 12:22 p.m.

    John

    P.S.

    Was so out of it, I saw only the top part of the quake list earlier and didn't realize a mass casualty and fatality 8.9 had hit Japan 11:46 p.m. CST Thursday, at which time I was under a blanket while already bundled up and miserable. Given what followed, I'm amazed I was able to go to sleep at all, for the energy release was simply staggering, with the primary event coming in at nearly 32 GT, or 32 billion tons of TNT (handily eclipsing all the nuclear arsenals combined), with a 32+ MT 7.1 aftershock, a bunch of 5 MT range 6.5s and lots of 1 MT 6s, never mind the 32 KT 5s and 1 KT 4s. to my knowledge, this is the single biggest energy release via seismicity since the Nisqually global quake string, which it far exceeds. I note after the fact that yesterday I was compulsively cleaning and scurrying about, yet without realizing I was actually engaging in well known pre large event behavior.



    Last edited by John Kettler on Fri 11 Mar 2011, 6:44 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Missed the main seismic event on quick look at NEIC and found out only after I posted! Also, changed title)
    OregonGuy
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    Post  OregonGuy Fri 11 Mar 2011, 7:47 pm

    The Japan 8.9 quake has relieved most of my complaints. Not all, which is alarming. Not sure what to expect at this point. Must be a few large aftershocks in store.
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Definitely more to come; not sure where

    Post  John Kettler Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:55 pm

    Oregon Guy,

    Glad you got substantial relief! Both Tara-Sotu and I agree there's more to come and soon. We both have neck pains, she was so messed up she had to sit down (sciatics flaring here), and my back's lit up and fiery, not to mention my head's imploding and my extremities all ache and are nervy. Volcanics are better than yesterday, and that may be because the Indonesian volcano blew shortly after the 8.9 hit. Eyes and sockets ache, as do teeth and jaws. Both ears are blocked and right one itches. It's 3:55 p.m. CST.

    Hang in!

    John


    Last edited by John Kettler on Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:56 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Wrote PST instead of correct CST)
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    John Kettler


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    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Empty Too much!

    Post  John Kettler Sat 12 Mar 2011, 6:01 pm

    Honshu area continues to convulse (no wonder I feel like a truck hit me), atop which there's an M-class solar flare and a geomagnetic storm. Am worn out and fed up. Head hurts, as do neck and shoulders, but my feet feel crushed and beaten. Eyes and sockets feel slugged. Internal pressure is screwing up my GIs and bladder. It's noon CST here.

    John
    SonicSal
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    Post  SonicSal Sat 12 Mar 2011, 9:48 pm

    SHTF WEEK:  Friday's SUPERMOON - Page 2 Moon-doom-300x300

    I blame the SuperMoon

    By Alexandra Petri
    Posted at 6:30 PM ET, 03/11/2011

    Yes! The SuperMoon was absolutely responsible for the disaster that just took place in Japan.

    What's a SuperMoon? It's the closest the Moon has been to Earth in 18 years, a point in the orbit otherwise called a "perigee," from Latin for "violating moon restraining order."

    Not only is the SuperMoon responsible for what just happened, but it's to blame for everything that's gone really wrong in the past century! Consider the facts.

    In 1955, there was a SuperMoon, and Einstein died. Coincidence? I think not.

    In 1974, there was a SuperMoon, and John Lennon planned to visit Paul McCartney - but didn't!

    In 1992, President George Bush was televised getting extremely ill at a state dinner in Japan, vomiting and falling into the lap of the Japanese prime minister. Yup, SuperMoon. LA riots? SuperMoon.

    And don't get me started on 2005. Among other things, the third "Star Wars" prequel came out, and it contained some pretty gaping plot holes. Moon? I'd prefer a space station.

    I keep coming home to find the SuperMoon is pouring salt in my coffee and rewriting my memoirs so they portray me in a less flattering light. It reprograms my DVR so that all my episodes of that gritty prison drama "Oz" are replaced with interviews with the cast of "Twilight." I bet the SuperMoon installed those very weak hand dryers in all U.S. airport restrooms -- the ones that dry your hands with the equivalent force of six midgets gently whispering at you. That would be just like it.

    No, the only Moon I trust is the one in charge of the U.N.

    Bill O'Reilly once looked at a SuperMoon, and he hasn't been quite right since. This is why he keeps angrily demanding, "How'd the moon get there?" to his television audience.

    Everything bad comes from these moons.

    Lunatic comes from the Latin word "luna," which means "moon," and the suffix "atic," which means "I think you misspelled 'attic.' " Lunesta is also vaguely related to the moon, and according to the caveats in the commercials, it will cause you to demolish a small town in your sleep and wake up inside the movie "Inception."

    SuperMoons take all this malice up a notch. Moons produce werewolves. SuperMoons produce warlocks with tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

    All this propaganda we've grown up with insisting that moons were harmless. "Goodnight Moon"? More like "Bad Night, SuperMoon." Being SuperMooned is like being mooned, but instead of your being mildly embarrassed, your entire life is ruined forever.

    "Come on, you're blaming the moon for natural disasters?" strangers ask. "What is this, the Pre-Cambrian era?"

    "Bad moon make sea rise!" I shout back angrily, pointing and waving my torch and pitchfork. "SuperMoon angry."

    "Oh please," everyone insists. "If the moon had anything to do with this, it was a rogue extremist moon that doesn't reflect on other moons."

    "How moon get there?" I yell. "Who put moon there?" Bill O'Reilly joins me, and we shake our fists mistrustfully at the sky together.

    I don't care how ridiculous this makes me look.

    After all, if there's one thing I've learned from reading the news for the past decade, it's that correlation implies causation. Remember, 2005 was when "Twilight" was first published. That can only have been the result of SuperMoon.

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