Boppin' Along

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    The letter.....


    Posts : 10
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Location : Sunny So. California

    The letter.....

    Post  alexa on Fri 09 Apr 2010, 8:42 am


    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
    trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
    and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is
    like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received
    the following letter from the local Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samuel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
    forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your
    husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video
    surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
    5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
    to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
    employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
    Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
    management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
    M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
    and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
    crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
    were called.

    9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
    it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
    he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
    look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

    And last, but not least:

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

    One of the clerks passed out.

    Posts : 344
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 37
    Location : Oxnard, CA

    Re: The letter.....

    Post  socalshakin on Sat 10 Apr 2010, 8:22 pm

    Ahahah!! So funny! Sounds like something my bf would do, though, haha.

    I never bring him on shopping trips because he is an in and out type of guy too and will start misbehaving if left unattended too long in the store Smile

    Posts : 182
    Join date : 2010-02-22
    Age : 58
    Location : north carolina

    Re: The letter.....

    Post  melinda on Sun 11 Apr 2010, 4:18 am

    TOO FUNNY! reminds me of my brother in law, joey!

    he often does this sort of thing.

    my poor dear sister!

    she is never bored...i guarantee


    Posts : 84
    Join date : 2010-02-22
    Age : 67

    Re: The letter.....

    Post  LaLuna on Wed 18 Aug 2010, 4:27 am


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    Re: The letter.....

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