Calibabe Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:59 pm
Hip pain not too bad today, but that usually is the case with me when the weather is going to change. Usually two or three days, sometimes even a week before, I will just get this terrible pain in my R hip, right in the middle of the socket and joint and it is like someone taking a hot poker and sticking it in there and just jabbing away.
I have degenerative disc disease of my lower lumbar spine. I basically have no discs from L2-L5, it is just bone-to-bone-to-bone. I also suffer from Crohn's disease which is a whole other thing that just will hit me out of the blue. From around 2003 until probably the past year and a half, I have really struggled with issues of mobility, I was actually using a walker at one point and had lost a tremendous amount of weight. SoCal, who is my daughter was really worried about me and kept asking me if I was like anorexic of something. When I got the news that my father had passed away I made plane flight arrangements for the next day. Four hours before the flight was scheduled to leave I was so sick in my bathroom from my Crohn's disease that my mother-in-law came in and thought either I was having an appendicitis attack or that I was in labor. She said she never saw someone become that violently ill. Consequently I had to wind up flying out on Sept 11, 2004 to go back east to NJ. Eight months before that I lost my mom, the day after Christmas. About 6 weeks after that we lost a dear friend to a drunk driver. Then almost two years to the day of losing my dad, I lost my grandmother, his mom. My daughter and I had to walk her into the funeral home when my dad passed and up to his casket. Hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. So I guess some of it was caused by nerves and just all the upsetment that it caused. Then if that wasn't enough I had to fight my mom's estate and my dad's estate. I could literally right a book. Not that I was left out, but I had to have the people in charge taken out of charge because they were doing illegal stuff. I literally had to stay two steps ahead of people I was 3,000 miles away from. Not an easy task. For about 4 1/2 years I don't think I was even in the same time zone as my family. Seriously. I was on a regimine of Fentanyl 75 mcg patch every three days, Norco (a strong version of Vicodin) for breakthrough pain, Xanax 1 mg three times per day for anxiety (can't imagine why I would have had that), Parafon Forte (for muscle spasms), Sulfasalizine (for my Crohn's), Imitrex for migraines (they were so bad I would wake up crying in the middle of the night and my husband would have to go downstairs and get ice packs to put on my head). If that wasn't bad enough this pain management doctor that I had to go to for my insurance, hit my spinal column during a procedure for epidural injections and caused me to be bed bound for approximately 6 weeks. Then if all of that wasn't enough I had a guy, go to the county recorders office here in L.A., and he basically forged my husbands signature and mine and had a notary sign the paper and presented it to them and he stole our house. Then he proceded to take a $580K loan on it and didn't pay and they foreclosed and took the house. Took us over a year in court and we had to make a decision to either fight, with the possibility of still losing and spending money we just didn't have or giving in. We gave in and moved.
So to say that I have had a black cloud hanging over me the past 7 years, it would be an understatement. But thankfully I have a good family and a great daughter and I pulled myself up, ever so slowly and I am now going back to nursing school to finally get my degree. I have been doing medical all my life. I had to stop school when I was pregnant with her because she came three weeks early. I never was able to finish so now I have the time. Her younger brother is going to be going to the fire academy in the fall so that is another huge step.
All in all, while I have those days when I would rather just stay in bed and complain, I get up, get dressed and push myself. It is what my parents would expect of me and it is what I have to do. There are worse things in life. Losing a house isn't one of them. Plus my three dogs keep me going as well as my family. I am blessed that I have really good kids that have heads on their shoulders.
Probably should have put that in the personal forum but it is a long tale to tell.